The Big Five-O

I started to give more thought to my 50th birthday party. I won't be getting married until I'm well older than 50, if ever at all. By this time, the rest of my friends will have been married for quite a while and settled down with their own families, possibly even with grandchildren for all I know. Meanwhile, I'll be a single woman, working a job I love, possibly with a few adopted children from China (at least people will believe THEY are really Chinese especially with the last name "Chan"), with a nice big house in Orange County, plenty of money saved up, and no wedding to reminisce over when I'm relaxing on my couch next to my dachshund Penny Lane as I wait for my Chinese babies to finish their kindergarten class.

My 50th birthday will be the wedding reception I never had.

Because it is less than likely that people will be able to attend my 50th birthday celebration ON my actual birthday (unless they're Jewish, I suppose), I will have my wedding reception on my half birthday, making it technically my 50.5th birthday, which is more convenient I suppose because there's nothing like a summer day in southern California. I'll have classic wedding invitations sent out with just my name in them, of course, and rather than the invitation to a wedding, it will be to my 50th birthday. I'll also hire a photographer to take professional-looking photos of me that I can include in my invitation, or maybe I'll find an attractive guy off the street who will pose with me for the day. I'll have a wedding dress all picked out (my Chinese daughter will thank me when she gets married and I can pass my dress to her), something that will make me feel beautiful, photogenic, and still able to dance the night away in.

No wedding colors for me, because after all I'm not getting married and therefore won't have an actual wedding ceremony. There will be lots of lilies though, in various colors, but mostly white and orange (this also includes water lilies, but I have yet to figure out where to put them). Roses would be nice too, but I'm wondering how they would look alongside the lilies. And I may or may have a pre-reception performance, consisting of the talents of my friends and family, which I'll conclude with my vows, or rather, my sentiments. After all, I'll be 50, I'll have quite a bit to say. Then, we'll move on to the actual reception.

I have yet to pick a location. Of course, I'm a Disney nut, so having my wedding reception somewhere at the Disneyland Resort was a thought. The additional bonus is considering most of my guests will be families, they could go to the Disney parks for leisure as well. The Queen Mary also came to mind. There's a number of rooms to choose from onboard the ship that have been used specifically for wedding receptions. For me it's also about the size of the dance floor. Even as a 50 year old woman, I'll expect there to be dancing. And I will have a first dance, with whom will be decided, though the father-daughter dance is debatable because that will depend on my dad's physical state, providing he's still alive. I'll also have a dance with my little Chinese son, among other specially named dances, and group dances too. I will also toss my bouquet and garter (which I will take off on my own, thank you very much!) to the single females and males, respectively. And the cake will be themed based on the location of the reception. If I choose the Disney Resort, I will also buy myself the bridal Mickey ears, because... well, why not?

When I'm 50, a lot of my appliances will have worn out by this time too, especially after adopting children and a puppy, so what better time to accept gifts than at a wedding reception? I mean, I'm talking about a free toaster, blender, sets of utensils! Maybe a walker for when I throw my back out when I'm 55? All that dancing might take a toll on me sooner or later.

Well, I'm 22 years old. This gives me less than 28 years to plan my 50th birthday. I still have a lot of details to work out. The real slap-in-the-face will be if I wind up getting married at age 51. If that happens, I'll be broke and my fiancee had better pay for all the wedding fees. On the bright side, at least I won't have to worry about finding a wedding dress!