Number 9... Number 9...

I'm thinking big for the next few years. And I do mean YEARS. No resolutions for the new year, but I have a number of goals in mind I plan on achieving in the very near future. I am, however, very forgetful, but hopefully with a bit of help and reassurance, I can stay on top of these things.

I also love the number 9. I lived for the days in my childhood when Sesame Street's number of the day was 9 (or 19, but you get the idea). So I'm a little more than optimistic that 2009 will be a good year. (Oh, and what about 9/9/09 being the best date ever? Hmm, what day is September 9th on anyway?) Well, so far so good, Christmas was awesome, as was the birthday, and the nasty cold that has been haunting me with its presence these past few weeks is disappearing! I can now talk with minimal throat pain! Needless to say, it's all good and, fingers crossed, only getting better from here!

Here's to a fun, safe New Year's Eve, and a great New Year!

Fly Like Paper, Get High Like Planes

I am curious as to how many people actually read this thing, whether they were linked from my Facebook, or did the six degrees of separation thing, or just happened to hear about it from me. I have thought about writing in here on a more than monthly basis, but I'm not sure if it benefits anyone but myself. (I'm not sure if I can even include myself in that.) I mean, most of my friends seem to forget this blog even exists, so its importance may not be so grand. Then again, curiosity killed the cat.

Lately, I have been on this big rush of reconnecting with old friends and making new friends. Not to say I don't always want to do this, but now that I'm not in a show and school is nearly over (and work is, well, still there, but limited for the next few months), I have been hyped up over embarking on spontaneous excursions again, and simply put, spontaneity is on another level of fun when someone else partakes in it with you. I just love that feeling of going out, with no boundaries, no fences. It's like flying, it's a breath of fresh air, it feels like freedom. It's hard though, because even with all of my free time, I feel very limited in finding others to join me in these random adventures. I'm not blaming anyone, I just have an active imagination. Apparently, it comes with being an only child. And it's more exciting to feel like I can share this activity with others.

For instance, I have been meaning to drive to the beach in Santa Cruz or Half Moon Bay (more likely Santa Cruz since it's warmer there) and watch the sun set, or the sun rise if I could get myself up early enough. I have wanted to drive up Big Basin Way and take in the late night view at Skyline again; it's been a long time since I went stargazing. The next time it rains, I want to be at Memorial Park, running and dancing around, harmonizing to the songs of The Beatles or Spring Awakening. I would like to drive to my high school again, go out to the football field late at night and punch blocking sleds, or roll in the grass, or yell at the freeway. I want to take lots of pictures again. Seriously, it has been a very long time since I took pictures for myself. Of course, I know the reasons why that is the way it is. (I point the finger partly at Facebook, because I end up stealing other people's pictures from events I partook in from there. It's not just Facebook though...) There's so much I want to do that I haven't yet, and I have felt a big disconnect from a lot of people lately that is unsettling. I feel like 2009 needs to be a year of change (no political reference intended), and that I need to take more initiative in making it that way. There's one more month left before the new year, so why not start now?

More than anything, for my birthday, I really just want to spend time with people. Not on my actual birthday, because that's near close to impossible, but it's nice to just be with friends. Quality time spent with people has a lot more value than anything money can buy, and I am so grateful for the people I know who have helped me see that.

I almost think I have this acquaintence-to-friendship riddle solved. The key word is "almost". Still, school is not over yet, and I have a few more lines to memorize, and a horrible movie that needs more conflict written in the first ten pages.

What is Friendship?

Friendship has been on my mind a lot in the last few months. I am not questioning friendship because I feel inadequate with the friends I have or because I feel I am lacking in friends, but rather because I feel friendship is given such a broad definition lately. Perhaps I have asked the wrong question. I suppose the question I should be asking is, "What is a friend?" And so I ask:

What is a friend?

This came into my mind as I was filling out a random time-filling survey about friends of mine. Standard questions were asked in the survey: when did you meet this person, how did you meet, how long have you known them, and so on. These are the easy questions to answer. And then other questions came to light: what is this person's favorite color, what is their favorite food, who is their favorite musical artist or band? Honestly, I couldn't answer all of these questions. It's not because I don't care, it's just that these little facts were never really mentioned. When I really look at it, I have friends who I have been close to since high school, and I still don't know what their favorite food is. I have friends who I have spent countless hours with, and if asked, I wouldn't know who their favorite band is. These are things I expect to be asked on a date or something, not questions I probe my friends with. In fact, I am still finding out new things about my friends every time I interact with them. I have a friend who I have know for over eight years, and I know so much about her life, but I don't know where her favorite place to shop is or what her favorite song is. I have another friend I have known for over five years, and I'm still not sure I know what her favorite color is. Are these questions meant to measure my capability of being a good friend?

This leads me into the other question that's been boggling my mind. When does a person become a friend?

The line between acquaintence and friend has often blurred in my mind. My dad says it becomes friendship when you have their phone number and they have yours. How can that be so? Employers, co-workers, and classmates working on a project with you have your number. Does this automatically make them friends? (In some cases, sure, but seriously, how many people can say they love to hang out and grab a few drinks with their boss after hours? (I do not mean to offend anyone who does though, more power to you!)) One of my fellow percussionists in wind ensemble received a text message, and I asked who this person who sent the message was, to which he replied, "Some girl." Whether this was the thought he truly carried about this girl or if this is just his way of addressing a friend was beyond me, because the response I tend to hear generated in a similar scenario is "My friend" or "My girlfriend" or "My sister", which, if the former, would definitely dwarf my dad's phone theory.

When I look at my friends, I can easily say how we met, whether it was through environment, or mutual friends, or me simply taking the initiative when I get the feeling I need to get to know someone (this last one has happened quite a few times actually and I have made some good friends because of it, which makes me giggle on occasion when I reminisce over how I first met these people), but it's hard to say when they received the title of friend. It's not like I could pull a Napoleon Dynamite and straightfowardly ask one of my close acquaintances if we are friends now. (Or could I? Hmm...) And online networking, as much as I love Facebook, has blurred the line between acquaintance and friendship even more. (Myspace, of course, is the true devil in this. They should've just stuck to bands.) However, I do have a few more-than-acquaintances who I'm not sure I can truly call my friends yet, but would very much like to. They may or may not know who they are.

Why must I question this though? If I know who my friends are, isn't that all I need? Would I really need the answers to my questions? Can't I be happy with what I have? Perhaps this is just my inner philosophizer talking. I suppose a follow-up on these thoughts is necessary, if for no one else but myself. Well, my friends (and even my more-than-acquaintances), until next time.....

Not-So-Scary Halloween

I had a dream last night that I was in Japan. It was kind of a pseudo-urban Tokyo. I was caught up in the middle of some kind of civil gang war and I had to use my superpowers to help one of the gangs fight. And a very attractive Japanese guy in my gang fell in love with me. There was a lot of running and flying on my part, guns and bullets and intimidation from our rivals, and a lot of hugs and smiles from my Japanese lover. Not to mention I could understand every word of Japanese that was spoken, without actually knowing how to speak it myself (both in and out of my dream).

Dreams like last night make me wish I could fly in real life.




The possibilities are endless. That's what I love about dreams. I don't always have control over what happens, but when I do, I can do anything. And if something goes amiss, I just wake myself up. If dreams are meant to reflect our subconscious though, I wonder what this is telling me. Probably just an expression my desire to go to Tokyo Disneyland. And to fly, among other superpowers I was capable of. Like Peter Petrelli.

I don't know if I will dress up for Halloween. I have my idea, but I don't know if I should go with it. However, I will be wearing all black for tonight's opening performance. And maybe I'll still bring my video camera.

The Fortune Cookie

After an entire day of sleeping and resting, I needed something more than the backs of my eyelids to entertain me. The common cold has become all too common as of this morning, and it was only to be expected after being around children for the past two days and an ill father for the past week. So, I slept in, stayed home from class, and attempted to relax between coughing and pounding headaches. Well, entertainment arrived today in the form of a fortune cookie. Now, of course, fortune cookies tend to be vague, or don't even tell fortunes in the first place but rather attempt to compliment the one who opens the cookie. Tonight was a bit different though. First of all, I found not one, but TWO fortunes in my fortune cookie. And these were actually cute fortunes.

So, I opened the first fortune, which read:

"On Friday your creative side will shine forth with exceptional ideas."

And then I opened the second, which read:

"The coming month shall bring you much happiness."

Here's my chance to finally prove the validity of fortune cookies sooner than I'd hoped!

On top of all this, back in September I received a fortune of which I am truly testing. I literally have it sitting on my piano, and when the expected day arrives for the fortune to be valid, I will be paying attention to all that happens that day. Actually, I might forget, but you never know, I'll probably just continue to play life by ear. There's nothing like a modest portion of Americanized Chinese food when one is battling the common cold.

An Unfortunate Consequence

The only good thing about feeling your absolute lowest is that things are bound to get better. And they will. They always do somehow. I wish they'd get better sooner though. I especially don't want to feel like this when we start performing. This isn't exactly one of those shows where you can use these sorts of feelings and apply them to your character. And I wish I could forget about the pain. It's just funny. After all the college psychology courses I took, I can spend hours psychoanalyzing my feelings and determine why I feel the way I do, but no amount of psychoanalysis dulls the pain, stops the tears, silences the cries... THAT's poetic. That's pathetic.

It's just difficult when you know what you've done, and you want so badly to make it all better, but you can't turn back the clock and fix things. I mean, everything happens for a reason. I'm sure Heavenly Father has something in store for me within all of this, but my eyes can only see so far ahead of me. Sometimes I wish I could deal with these sorts of things like other people do, but I'm just not that good. I just need my time, and no one can really do anything to fix this. I can't fix it myself, so why should I expect anyone else to do it?

At a time like this, I'd attempt to remedy myself with a trip to Disneyland, but that's not happening anytime soon, and definitely not before the show starts performing. There has to be something though.....

The Road Less Traveled

You ever get the feeling that you're in over your head? You ever wonder why you have to feel the way you do when it doesn't benefit anyone, especially not yourself? You ever think about when it will be your time, and that finally that one little tick you couldn't seem to shake off will release itself from you and go elsewhere? You ever feel like you should have learned from your mistakes and soon you can take the higher road, but that other road keeps dragging you back in?

Who said it's easy to learn from your mistakes? And how can you learn from a mistake that just won't leave you alone?

Thinking is hard on the mind and body. Yet, at the same time, it's incredible to imagine and explore the possibilities. I get carried away though. The problems that made up my life are resurfacing. I'm doing my best to ignore them, which isn't as difficult when I'm occupied with other things. It's harder though when I look at other people and notice that they aren't dealing with what I am dealing with right now. No one else can understand how hard this is, and I wouldn't want anyone to either. Still, I wish that one day I can look back at these problems and say, "Wow, I'm glad that's over, because I truly have something better to live for now." But when? Will it really take another year? Or two? Or five? Or am I just meant to deal with this for the rest of my life, stuck on this road I'm on, while everyone turns onto the other road?

When will I finally be able to travel on the other road?

Batoru Rowaiaru

Every now and then, I discover a movie that makes me go WOW. A movie that can make me feel a wide variety of emotions. A movie that makes me sympathize and ponder over. A movie that touches on the adolescent psyche and the destruction of an advanced society. A movie I can watch over and over and find something new every time. As of last week, this movie is Battle Royale.

I was never good with movie plots, so anyone interested can just travel to IMDB for an array of viewer-written plots. Long story short, a class of 42 students is selected and sent to a deserted island, where they will remain for no longer than three days. Each student is provided with food, water, a flashlight, a compass, a map, and a random weapon (anything from a MAC-10 to a crossbow to a paper fan; "Maybe you'll get lucky, maybe not."), in addition to their own belongings. They are released onto the island, with the intent that they will kill each other. 42 students begin in this game, but only one will remain. Oh yeah, and there is no escaping or hiding because each student has a collar fastened around their necks which can pinpoint their location to the authorities, so if anyone acts up their collars can be detonated like bombs, killing them in seconds.

The concept of the movie is an interesting one, but at first could not stimulate me enough to want to watch it. It was not conceivable that a movie with a cast of over 42 characters doing nothing but killing each other could be appealing. I am not partial to nonstop action films, I cannot handle gory films, and I do not generally like films with an overload of characters, because this means multiple storylines, which then means too many things would be happening at once, and my brain likes the idea of watching a movie once and understanding what happens then and there. As far as I was told, this movie had all of those characteristics, so initial interest did not spark.

I expected a thin plot line covered with blood and guts, filled with forgettable one-dimensional nerds and Japanese school girls with good hair. I cheated a bit by going to Wiki and reading up on the plot of the movie and I was very confused, mainly because of all the characters with their three or four syllable names which all looked the same to me (two of the girls in the movie are named Yumiko and Yukiko, and another three are named Yuko, Yuka, and Yukie; I rest my case). So, to alleviate my confusion and mediocre expectations, it only made sense to watch the movie and see if things would be different.

WOW. I could chalk up my adoration of this movie to exceeding my expectations, but this movie has so much to offer. It takes a basic storyline and crafts it into a work of art. It draws you in from the beginning and gives life to each of its characters. Its use of flashbacks is minimal, but they are relevant and integrate well into the story. What is interesting is that most of these characters are teenagers, and are portrayed as such with young adolescent minds, thrust into a situation bigger than they are. Sometimes the dialogue seems choppy and out of place, but these are teenagers, most of whom do not fully comprehend everything about life, and that's what makes them so believable.

The name of the game is survival, and each student reacts to the game in a different way, which is even more interesting when some characters have a change in mindset as the game progresses. It poses the question "Could you kill your best friend?" and many of the students build alliances because initially to them this question can be answered with an immediate NO. Still, if the name of the game is survival, and if it really came down to it, what would you do? Would you be the one to die or survive? Would you die fighting or end your life quickly because you could not bear hurting another? Would you kill to save someone else? Many of these questions are presented, and the many responses illustrated in the movie only draw in the viewer more to see the outcomes.

The soundtrack is also incredible, because it is comprised mostly of classical compositions. It is a unique take for this movie, given its story and themes, but the music is so fitting. The calm and serene compositions complement the tension felt throughout the movie, and it's a brilliant combination of visual and auditory senses.

Of course, being me, I did get a touch of yellow fever while watching the movie. As far as my tastes are concerned, it was all about the main hacker guy and the guy who never talked. The guy who was looking for his best friend and his crush wasn't so bad either. However, this information is relevant only to myself.

This movie is NOT for everyone. It is very intense, very disturbing, and very VERY violent. After watching it the first time, there are parts of the movie I can't bear to look at again, and instinctively I turn my head away at every view following. All things included, it is one of the best movies I have seen.

The Joy of Nutella

It has been a long time since I last went to Valley Fair, but I wanted some accessories for Dianna's party tomorrow. I thought I'd spice up the standard Asian costume she is so graciously letting me borrow with a little more to make me look like a well-known fictional fighter, but perhaps one that is less recognizable to those whose parents (like mine) did not allow them to own video games when they were younger. I found almost everything I was looking for, but as my friend and I were about to exit the mall, we saw a crepe stand, and the craving for crepes began to seep in. I managed to control my temptation in purchasing one, but my friend gave in for a crepe filled with ice cream and Nutella. Mind you, I love ice cream, and I love Nutella, but the fusion of the two was something beyond anything my tastebuds were anticipating.

And after consuming the remains of this delectable goodness, my endless love for Nutella has returned. While away at school, I would spend many afternoons on my chair with a box of wafers and a jar of Nutella. A jar would last me about a week, if even. At times, I would abandon my lunch for a few spoonfuls of Nutella. And no road trip was complete without a few jars in my car. (I intend on bringing some along with me to Disneyland.) And what could be better than Nutella as a dessert? Nutella drizzled atop a scoop or two of vanilla? Who needs chocolate syrup! Nutella spread across a fluffy pound cake? Scrumptious! Chocolate Nutella fondue? THAT would be heavenly! If only more occasions called for fondue, because I imagine fondue and Nutella would dance across my taste buds more lively than a sip of White Gummy Bear.

But why is Nutella NEVER on sale? Is this fair to the addicts such as myself who only carry a few dollars around and late at night are in dire need of a smooth hazelnut fix? I dream of a world where men will find peace, pain will disappear, and Nutella will be free and plentiful!

Actually, I Could Be The Mole

Why is playing evil so much fun?

No, I didn't do anything evil. At least, not that I'm aware of. I just really miss the theater. UCI didn't have much in the way of musical theater, so I have felt deprived to say the least. I'll be auditioning for another musical next month though and I'm hoping it all works out somehow. Meanwhile, I remember watching The Mole years ago when it first premiered, thinking that it was one awesome show. I still remember the last guy standing and his confrontation with the Mole, and she walked out of this smoky tunnel with this trenchcoat and these tall boots, and I thought to myself, "Wow, that is so hot." Now, I'm attempting to watch it again (I figured, why not, since my muse The Bachelorette just ended and this just happened to be on next) and it just isn't drawing me in the way it used to. It's probably because I haven't watched it from the beginning, but then again "reality" tv isn't as engaging as it used to be. Even The Bachelorette is a bit dull now with all the tactics they're using on the show to make it seemingly more exciting for viewers.

I haven't written a new script in a while. I think I have something new to work on though (in addition to my other unfinished projects). I wish the film writing classes didn't last for eight hours a day, otherwise I'd definitely enroll. One day, I'll have enough time to do nothing that I'll finally be able to take that class.

Disneyland is still in the works too. I have the weekend set, now all we need is the hotel and for gas prices to drop dramatically in the next several weeks. And maybe more of a gender balance since so far it looks like I'm the only girl going for sure. How about The Mole LIVE at Disneyland? Hmmm, maybe not. Back to the drawing (writing?) board.

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Throughtout today, I have pondered dreams I've had. I'm not talking about goals and aspirations, but dreams that appear when I'm asleep. In the past week or so, this one dream keeps reoccuring more often than every other day. Sometimes I take these things as a sign to come in the near future, but for all I know it could just be my subconscious going out of its way to show me what will never happen no matter how much I want it to. What's a girl to believe?

Oh well. It's probably just an outcome of all the sugar I consumed last night. And the singing. And the brief period of time I was nerdified?



But now is not the time to look back at these ridiculous subconscious thoughts. I need to get ready to go. To go to Disneyland? No, not yet. Maybe next time.

Happy 22nd! (and a Half)

I'm still giving high consideration to my 22.5th birthday this year. June might be a little too soon to have it, but it's a maybe. If not, perhaps later into the summer, when less is happening. My main issue is location and cost. (Guests? One person could show up, and I'd be set. I'm fairly confident I'd have at least three people there though.) Although I have a job, root beer kegs are kind of pricey. And my house and backyard are lacking in room for guests, kegs, and a ping pong table. So I may need to negotiate with someone for space. I might also pull a "bring your own drinks" memo, or ask for donations. That could work? If not, well, there's always next year. There's something fun about planning the party before actually having one. Maybe I'll just go to Disneyland instead, and bribe a few people to go with me. I don't know though, I think this has potential.

And I am serious about the root beer kegs and the ping pong table.

Of Mice or Men?

You know who's hot? Basil from The Great Mouse Detective. He's clever, witty, an eloquent speaker. He's British, ergo he sports a lovely rich British accent. He knows chemicals and elements, algebraic formulas and theorems, AND he's a violinist, and quite the thespian! He's also tall and slender and has a nice smile. He likes dogs too, which is a plus. If he was human, I would totally get with him in a second. Or if I were a cartoon mouse.

I'm just saying, it's a pity there aren't more guys out there like him. I mean, sure, the current bachelor on ABC happens to be a British guy, and he is cute and tall and has a nice build, but what a womanizer. And it may be poor editing, but he doesn't appear to be a very good judge of character. Sorry Matt Grant, you have nothing on Basil of Baker Street.

And yes, I found Basil incredibly attractive in this scene:



For that matter, Jake from The Rescuers Down Under was pretty hot too. Adventurous, charming, and an Australian accent. Oh yes. And Justin from The Secret of Nimh wasn't so bad either. But they're rats, not mice. (I think. Is a kangaroo rat a rat? Cause sometimes words can play tricks on people. I mean, they say "koala bear" even though it's not a bear, so I don't know.)

Blue Fingertips

The last time I got this much overhead ink on my hands was when I was in... fourth grade? So how do I get this stuff off again?

But my kids are so helpful, it's great. I love my kids. I love my job.

What do kids watch nowadays? What CAN they watch? There were so many good shows back in my childhood days, and now there's so many horrible shows. Where are the happy, upbeat, positive role models that kids can look up to and learn good morals from?

Maybe I should start my own kids show. They made some awesome shows when I was a kid.

Beep Beep'm Beep Beep Yeah

Car horns sound so agressive. I know there are a lot of drivers who experience road rage, and no one really enjoys being cut off on the freeway or tailed or all other antics that bad drivers could pull on someone. What about the drivers who are just looking to get from one place to another, the ones don't care about seeking revenge towards their fellow drivers who wronged them so? I think someone should invent a car horn that can make more than one sound. (I would do it, but I don't know cars.) I mean, all of that extra steering wheel space should be put into good use! Airbag, shmairbag, let's put a few more buttons in and do a little more wiring and have a variety of car horn honks.

This is most common when I find myself waiting at a light behind a car that is just a little slow and hasn't picked up on the fact that the light has turned green. I don't want to honk my obnoxiously rude sounding horn at them. So, I propose another solution. Press the button on my steering wheel, and a kind voice will perk up, just loud enough for the car in front of me to hear. "Excuse me, the light is green and we should be on our way." The car in front of me will have heard my new and improved horn, and then proceed through the light without offense.

Cut off on the road? How about a "Pardon me, but you just cut me off, and I would appreciate it if you don't do that again" honk. If the driver in the car responds with a rude, unnecessary hand gesture, there can be another button for "That wasn't a very nice gesture, and you should please keep your hands inside the car to protect yourself and spare your passengers the embarassment of driving with a bad driver."

Not only should there be an option to honk at the car in front of you, but also behind you. Tailgaters are annoying, but they are also dangerous. So why not warn the car tailing you with the push of a button? "Please don't drive so close to me, or I will be forced to put on my brakes and sue you after you total my car."

What about those moments where you're driving with a bunch of your friends and you spot an incredibly good looking guy on the sidewalk? Why not spare your voice calling out to him to get his attention? Why not let the horn take care of it? A "Hey there, hot stuff" honk would be quite appropos. Or if it's a group of good looking guys, *AAAAAOOOOOOOOOOGA*.

Just to keep those with road rage satisfied, we could have the extraneous ultra-vulgar button. "GET THE *BEEP* OFF THE ROAD, YOU *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*-HEAD!" And yes, this button wouldn't actually contain any vulgar words, just beeps in place of them. I mean, we have to watch out for the children in the passenger seats in the surrounding cars.

And in the event a button is pushed by accident, there could be an apology button to the car that the honk was not implied to. "I'm sorry, I accidentally pressed the BEEP button on you, but I didn't mean to! Please go about your driving and ignore my extraneous honk."

If GPS can be installed into cars, I don't see why this multi-horn option couldn't work. In ten years, I bet it'll be the new thing. I am brilliant.

The Big Five-O

I started to give more thought to my 50th birthday party. I won't be getting married until I'm well older than 50, if ever at all. By this time, the rest of my friends will have been married for quite a while and settled down with their own families, possibly even with grandchildren for all I know. Meanwhile, I'll be a single woman, working a job I love, possibly with a few adopted children from China (at least people will believe THEY are really Chinese especially with the last name "Chan"), with a nice big house in Orange County, plenty of money saved up, and no wedding to reminisce over when I'm relaxing on my couch next to my dachshund Penny Lane as I wait for my Chinese babies to finish their kindergarten class.

My 50th birthday will be the wedding reception I never had.

Because it is less than likely that people will be able to attend my 50th birthday celebration ON my actual birthday (unless they're Jewish, I suppose), I will have my wedding reception on my half birthday, making it technically my 50.5th birthday, which is more convenient I suppose because there's nothing like a summer day in southern California. I'll have classic wedding invitations sent out with just my name in them, of course, and rather than the invitation to a wedding, it will be to my 50th birthday. I'll also hire a photographer to take professional-looking photos of me that I can include in my invitation, or maybe I'll find an attractive guy off the street who will pose with me for the day. I'll have a wedding dress all picked out (my Chinese daughter will thank me when she gets married and I can pass my dress to her), something that will make me feel beautiful, photogenic, and still able to dance the night away in.

No wedding colors for me, because after all I'm not getting married and therefore won't have an actual wedding ceremony. There will be lots of lilies though, in various colors, but mostly white and orange (this also includes water lilies, but I have yet to figure out where to put them). Roses would be nice too, but I'm wondering how they would look alongside the lilies. And I may or may have a pre-reception performance, consisting of the talents of my friends and family, which I'll conclude with my vows, or rather, my sentiments. After all, I'll be 50, I'll have quite a bit to say. Then, we'll move on to the actual reception.

I have yet to pick a location. Of course, I'm a Disney nut, so having my wedding reception somewhere at the Disneyland Resort was a thought. The additional bonus is considering most of my guests will be families, they could go to the Disney parks for leisure as well. The Queen Mary also came to mind. There's a number of rooms to choose from onboard the ship that have been used specifically for wedding receptions. For me it's also about the size of the dance floor. Even as a 50 year old woman, I'll expect there to be dancing. And I will have a first dance, with whom will be decided, though the father-daughter dance is debatable because that will depend on my dad's physical state, providing he's still alive. I'll also have a dance with my little Chinese son, among other specially named dances, and group dances too. I will also toss my bouquet and garter (which I will take off on my own, thank you very much!) to the single females and males, respectively. And the cake will be themed based on the location of the reception. If I choose the Disney Resort, I will also buy myself the bridal Mickey ears, because... well, why not?

When I'm 50, a lot of my appliances will have worn out by this time too, especially after adopting children and a puppy, so what better time to accept gifts than at a wedding reception? I mean, I'm talking about a free toaster, blender, sets of utensils! Maybe a walker for when I throw my back out when I'm 55? All that dancing might take a toll on me sooner or later.

Well, I'm 22 years old. This gives me less than 28 years to plan my 50th birthday. I still have a lot of details to work out. The real slap-in-the-face will be if I wind up getting married at age 51. If that happens, I'll be broke and my fiancee had better pay for all the wedding fees. On the bright side, at least I won't have to worry about finding a wedding dress!

12-Hour Epiphany

It's funny, the things a long drive across California can do for a person, all that time sitting in the car listening to the same fifty songs, looking out the window, pondering. Well, as I was in the car listening to my music this past weekend, making the long drive back to the Bay Area, I received quite the epiphany:

I find spiky hair incredibly attractive.

Apparently this isn't big, extravagant news to anyone but myself. When I shared this newfound information with my dather, his response was, "No kidding." I know he used to joke with me all the time about how I only like guys with spiky hair, but I just thought he was saying that stuff to annoy me cause, well, that's what dads do. Everything he was saying has some truth to it though! And it hit me like a ton of bricks last weekend! (Or at least, two or three bricks. A ton might have knocked me unconscious and left me unable to recall such an epiphany.)

As feeble as I sound, this really is mind-blowing to me. This is a bigger deal than when I came to the self-realization that Aaron Carter and Jesse McCartney are the same person. (And I still stand firm to that truth.)

Look at Seth Green, for instance. In every other movie he's in, he spikes his hair. In Without a Paddle, for one, he didn't. Now, he still looked good, but there's something about every other movie he's in when he does spike his hair that makes him more than just a funny actor. With that little bit of extra gel keeping his hair up, he becomes a grade A hottie. The early seasons of Buffy, Can't Hardly Wait, Idle Hands, The Austin Powers trilogy, it all becomes clear just by watching.

The same thing goes with the McFly guys. Not that the long emo-like hair makes them look hideous, because it doesn't really. Still, a guy with smoother, nicer hair than mine does not only bring out the little green monster inside me, it's also kind of questionable behavior to me on his part. However, take these four talented, cute musicians, add in a number of hair products, and sure enough. A vast visual improvement. (Dougie, of course, seems to pull off any style he does his hair in nicely. Danny, who has naturally curly hair is better off actually leaving it curly, because though spiky hair is hot, curly hair is too. I digress, though.)

Then, one of the best examples I found came about through an episode of the great Law and Order: SVU. One of the guest stars in the fourth season was particularly easy on the eyes, despite the plotline of that particular episode portraying him as a guy in his late teens who happened to be having a sexual relationship with his stepmother, but such is SVU. He wasn't a bad actor by any means either, which then posed the question: Why haven't I seen this pleasantly defined face elsewhere? So my search took me to IMDB, and sure enough I had seen that face before.

Aaron Samuels, played by Jonathan Fuller. His character was Lindsay Lohan's character's crush in Mean Girls. I had seen Mean Girls before watching that episode of SVU, but I didn't find this "heartthrob" of the movie any more than lukewarm. (If anything, the math guy was better looking in my eyes, but that's not relevant to this post.) But, Jonathan Fuller was the same actor I saw in that Law and Order: SVU episode, playing that slightly underage teen who was sleeping with his stepmom. So why didn't I find him all that attractive in Mean Girls? It struck me: it was his hair! Note his hair when he was playing Aaron Samuels. Not ugly, but just not terribly attractive in my eyes. He's just another stereotypical pretty boy. When he spikes his hair, though, that's another story. Can we say revelation! He looks so much better! All this because a guy models his head after a porcupine than that of a shih-tzu. (Pardon my French.)

Point taken, in the majority of cases, spiky hair on a guy is very attractive. Need I say more?

I shall conclude this epiphany by informing everyone that Mean Girls will be on ABC Family this Saturday night. I, however, will not be watching because Jonathan Bennett looks much hotter with spiky hair than that mess which was done to it in Mean Girls. However, I will watch my DVD of Without a Paddle because even though Seth Green loses the spikes, he's still funny and cute in that movie. (I actually won't be watching Mean Girls because I might be out of town this weekend, but I'm just diving into the already shallow pool I've created.)

I am also aware this epiphany doesn't have much relevance to today's holiday. I went out to dinner and baked a heart shaped cake with a lot of help from Margie. Happy Valentine's Day.

Here We Go...

This should be interesting. Here's to a new blog. Salut.