Conversion of an Eight-Year-Old Weirdo

A lesson in Relief Society a little while ago had me in contemplation of my baptism. The lesson itself was about keeping a journal, and although this was a bit frustrating to sit through, it made me want to look back at some of my old (online) journal entries, particularly those from when I first joined the LDS church. And so I looked back to the days of investigating, and leading up to the actual day of March 26th, 2005.

.........I have virtually nothing written about my baptism.

On March 26th, 2005, I wrote more about chicken strips and orchestra concerts instead of the actual event that was my baptism. This is all I have found from that day that even remotely relates to my baptism, bad punctuation and all:

"today was awesome. long day but a good one for the most part. dont want to elaborate on it because i feel the tiredness creeping in so maybe i can write more about it tomorrow which might work cause itll be easter. i am so thankful for everyone who is supportive of me even though some people who i will not name are making me feel terrible about it. still i am very content with what happened."

LAME.

Every year on my baptism anniversary (birthiversary), I have gone out of my way to do something special for myself, be it little like buying something sweet and sugary, or something bigger like gathering together with a group of friends and going to dinner, which in these cases became a combination of my birthday and re-birthday, since we all know how easy it is for me to plan a shindig on my actual birthday*... good times. This year was nothing exceptional, except I had my first performance with this new improv group on the same night, but I still bought something made of sugar and spent time reminiscing.

This particular birthiversary was a special one for me because I turned eight years old. In other words, I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for eight years. At eight years old, members who were born into this church can make the decision for themselves as to whether or not they want to be baptized. It's a big decision to make, and one I am not sure I could have made myself at that age.

When I was eight years old, I was baptized into a Baptist church, of which I only have vague recollections of since I spent most of my childhood and teen years church hopping. I think about the many different branches of Christianity I had been exposed to, the various services I attended and church buildings I was carted off to, and some were better than others in regards to how they made me feel spiritually. However, none of them ever felt right. I'm not saying they aren't wonderful places of worship for others, and I'm not saying the people there were all horrible, but I never felt comfortable being bombarded with conflicting Gospel doctrine, with members who would practice what they preached for a mere few hours on Sundays (if even), with no clear understanding of my relationship to the God I was always praising and praying to -- heck, was there even a relationship in the first place, or was I merely an ant amid a swarm of ants blurting out chants and recitations to ward off an oncoming flood?

These questions weighed heavier on my mind following my high school graduation. It was a really bad year with a lot of (what seemed at the time) bad experiences, and I was somewhat spiritually lost for a number of months. I left the last church I was attending, I made a change in my living situation, and with the handful of friends I had leaving for college (or for the younger ones, staying in high school and living their lives without me a part of it), I had to essentially recreate my social life. One thing never changed though -- my love and firm belief for my God, my faith in His truths and principles, and my diligence in daily prayer and reading the Scriptures (of which I naturally accumulated more than one version of).

Was I happy to meet with the missionaries the first time they came over to my house? YEAH RIGHT. This was my way of humoring someone who was a very important part of my life at the time who claimed to have sent the missionaries to my house as a "birthday present". In fact, I was ready to bombard them with questions and misconceptions that I knew they couldn't answer...

But I didn't.

Benyo and Hunter, who couldn't have been much older than I was, spoke to me kindly, honestly, and took the time to actually hear where I was coming from and what I believed without judgment or negativity. And I in turn became genuinely interested in learning more. I had a number of LDS friends from high school, and I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that many of these wonderful people were brainwashed sheep who followed the wrong Jesus and worshiped a man named Joseph Smith. It's crazy to see now how contention attacks truth at every turn, because everything my non-LDS pastors and a couple of family members had preached to me about Mormon doctrine couldn't be further from what is actually taught and true.

It was a sunny day, probably early March. Looking back at my journal, I think it actually might have been March 15th (ides of March?), possibly earlier. I was walking out of my music theory class, and this overwhelming feeling suddenly came over me, seemingly out of the blue, like I was being enveloped in warmth and love, which is as cheesy as it sounds. I realized, more at that moment than I did before, that everything I had been learning in the last two months was indeed true, that I could not deny what I knew to be right, that this Gospel was my way to pure happiness, and that I needed to continue to better myself by following the amazing example of Jesus Christ. That moment, I jumped into my car, called the missionaries, and excitedly told them that I wanted to be baptized, and we set the baptism and confirmation for Easter weekend.

And then all hell broke loose. There's no need to go into specifics, but it was awful. I had to keep my baptism under wraps because I was getting slammed from every direction from former friends who thought I was doing this for a boy, and my home life wasn't any easier. All I could do was pray, and every time I prayed, I asked (on some days, pleaded) to know if I was doing the right thing, and every time Heavenly Father affirmed to me that I was right. I can't begin to express how thankful I am for the handful of people who helped me get through those extremely difficult days, and I know Heavenly Father placed these people in my life at this time knowing their support would be integral to persevering through my first years as a new Latter-Day Saint.

The baptism itself. There are times I remember it like yesterday, and there are other times I can hardly recall anything that happened. One part that always stands out: the nerves and giddiness of stepping into the font, the calm serenity of falling back into the waters (despite almost losing my balance), and rising up with a newness of life and a big smile on my face. I did not have many people in attendance; the only people who attended that were from my YSA ward were the Bishop and the RS President, but the other few friends I had who attended (most of whom are not LDS) shared in my excitement. I was so happy they could be there to witness such a significant event in my life, and I am happy to still have many of them in my life to this day.

Do I wish my baptism could have been different? Yes. There are people I wish I could have had there, there are people I wish wouldn't have been there (but that's another story entirely!), there are preparations I wish I would have made to be more fully ready for what was ahead, and had I been smarter and more mature, I wish I could have written more about that amazing day so that I could better share it with others, including my future (or now present) eight-year old self.

Do I have any regrets? Absolutely NOT. It is still the best decision I have made in my life.

I am so lucky to be where I am, and I don't know where I would be without the true Gospel of Jesus Christ, restored in its fullness nearly 200 years ago by a boy who, like myself, was lost at one point and just wanted an answer. My baptism didn't necessarily change how I worship, but it changed my perspective, how I view myself and others, how I view my Heavenly Father, how I follow my Savior Jesus Christ, how I live life, and how this life is a gift not to be wasted. I'm not perfect (not even CLOSE), I'm still a weirdo with a lot of growing up to do, a lot of self-actualizing to work through, but I'm always striving to be better. And life just keeps getting better.

*Side note: I'm thinking one of these years, I'll have a My Dinner with Andre Dinner with Abed birthday dinner. I wonder who the Jeff in my life will be at that point...

The Only Constant is Change

At first, I wanted to write "The Only Constant is Chang". =P Six seasons and a movie. (And the Chang puns are great because I can adapt a lot of them to fit my name too. HA!)



Change can be scary. It can also be exciting. This isn't a profound set of thoughts meant to reveal that a big change is in store for me, because as of this moment, there isn't one. It is instead an outlet for letting out my feelings of fear coupled with doses of optimism.

A friend is going through a big change right now that just began, and it has affected me more than I expected it would. I suppose that his big change is mine as well, to a far lesser extent of course. And with it just starting, I have reacted strangely. As excited as I am for him, I have been somewhat concerned as to how I'll make it through. It reminds me of when Abed was struggling to cope when Troy moved out to go to the air-

conditioning repair school, and then Evil Abed shows up, but that's another story. The point being, I was trying  to make the most of the time I had with him when he was here, knowing that soon it would be gone and that it would be a long time until we see each other again. And now he is far away, and I have been okay, better than I expected, but still oddly withdrawn. A part of me is scared that in the future we will not have what we do have now, and how hard it will be to find someone else who I can have that with. Another part of me knows that a lot will be happening, and regardless of how it affects me, I need to embrace it. It's all quite strange. Strange change.

In connection to all this, Community makes me SO happy, especially the moments where I can relate to Abed. This recent quote from him, for instance:

"I was trying to hang on to this moment because I was so afraid of the future, but then I realized all of this was once the future. And it was completely different from what I had known before, and it was happening so fast. But in the end, or in the now I guess, it turned out great."

It's TRUE.

Eight years ago (tomorrow), I made a decision that changed my life for the better: baptism into the LDS church. It has been the best decision I have ever made thus far. I also look at the other events that have happened in my life, and so much has happened that I never imagined would happen. I know I shouldn't be worried about the future, because at one point, what is now my present was once my future, and I didn't expect to be where I'm at, doing all that I'm doing, not to mention all of the incredible people who have come into my life. I don't know what the future holds, and it terrifies me to think about it, and yet I know that good things are in store.

And I know that (who was the closest to being) the Troy to my Abed is exactly where he needs to be right now. And I'm proud of him. Cool. Cool cool cool.

In the Spirit of Love

So, Sunday is coming to a close, the Niners lost the Stupidbowl, and now it's time to move our thoughts and energy toward another menial holiday: Valentine's Day.

Now, for what it's worth, I actually enjoy Valentine's Day most of the time. I think it's a wonderful idea to celebrate love in all of its forms, not to mention 90% off the price of candy come February 15th. With hearts day fast approaching, a lot of thoughts have raced through my mind about love.

I just finished reading the most recent book in the Pirates! series, entitled "The Pirates! In an Adventure with the Romantics", which was the main instigator in turning my thoughts toward the upcoming holiday. Great book, and though I mainly enjoy the series for its light-hearted content and humor, for once I actually found myself relating to the Pirate Captain. He, of all people, finds himself falling in love with Mary, who is already betrothed to Percy Shelley! Still, the Pirate Captain tries to pursue her, especially upon finding out that she is just as smitten with him as he is with her. Ultimately, he comes to his own self-realization about love and relationships, thoughts that I have felt time and time again. It's fascinating to see my thoughts manifested in written word, regardless of how satirical they appear at first glance.

I have heard way too many people gripe about how awful it is to be single on Valentine's Day. To everyone who feels this way, I say phooey! (And I'm quite surprised that spell check did not call me out on misspelling "phooey"; I guess I spelled it right!)

Let me shed some light on what others view as a seemingly dreadful situation. I only recall one Valentine's Day off the top of my head when I have not been single. Frankly, I prefer the single life on Valentine's Day: much less pressure, and many more options. To elaborate:

Valentine's Day for the Single:

Who: You and a friend, a group of friends, a hot prospect, random strangers, family, anyone really!

What: The movies, concerts, sports games, hiking, shopping, the gym, restaurants, Disneyland, anything!

Where: Anywhere you want!

Why: Because you can!

Valentine's Day for the Non-Single: 

Who: You and your male/female significant other

What: Whatever he/she wants

Where: Wherever he/she tells you

Why: Because if you don't, he/she won't talk to you for a month and/or will dump you

Rest assured, single friends, your Valentine's Day does not have to be a dismal one. Plus, it's a good excuse to go out instead of sitting at home with a pint of ice cream and a marathon of lame chick flicks. (And for my non-single friends, only one of whom I think actually reads my blog, please do not take my words too seriously. Being in a relationship is pretty awesome in a lot of ways too.)

Side note: Love Actually is the ONLY good chick flick out there. A number of my friends have debated with me as to whether it can actually be classified as a chick flick since so many guys enjoy it too, but I'm going to run with the idea that it is indeed a chick flick since it is one of my few links to being more in touch with my girly side. Plus, Sheriff Grimes is in it too, and he's awesome.

Now, I have found recently that many of my guy friends are trying to get me married off. I can justify the reasoning for one of them, since we have an ongoing bet as to who will be married first. For the other guys, I can only guess that they must be tired of hanging out with me and are trying to pawn me off. I know that there is someone out there for everyone, and not just necessarily ONE someone either. In my case, maybe I'll find him in this life, or maybe we will be joined together in the next. (If the latter is to happen, I would be especially partial to be with someone who died during WWII -- perhaps in the Army to please my late grandfather.) I can very well say the same for any one of my current single friends: there is someone out there for you, and if you haven't found this person already, you will.

All right, I think I reached my sappiness quota for tonight. (And "sappiness" is approved by spell check also, who knew?)

Les Misérables, Partie Deux

I went to see Les Misérables in theaters for the second time. Here is a collection of thoughts that came to mind tonight, during and after the movie:

~Do you hear the people sing? Because this song always seems to get stuck in my head when I hear it.

~I know they make Hugh Jackman look different as he goes through the various changes in Jean Valjean's life, but nineteen years pass and he still looks good. Is Hugh really 44 years old? (Is Joel McHale really 41?) Maybe getting older isn't such a scary thought.

~Thénardier is apparently the only French man in this movie with a French accent. Everyone else must have immigrated from England.

~Helena Bonham Carter's Madame Thénardier reminded me of a grimy, nastier version of her Mrs. Lovett.

~Eponine made me so much more sad and sympathetic this time around. She is gorgeous AND she broke my heart. I would still love to portray her onstage someday. (If I ever make it back up on a stage and can squeeze out any talent.) Eh, it's nice to dream, I suppose.

~Come to think of it, I would love to portray any one of the leading ladies in this show: Fantine, Eponine, Cosette (if I can ever reach that C again), even Madame Thénardier would be fun. I'm probably just a few years too old and a few feet too tall to perform Castle on a Cloud though...

~Marius further proves that no matter what you look like, girls will still think you're hot if you have a great singing voice. I call that the Michael Bublé effect. (And yes, 90% of what makes Michael and Eddie Redmayne hot are their singing voices. Maybe 70% singing voice in Eddie's case since he is also British which gives him an extra dose of hotness.)

~Enjolras is a handsome pup. Revolution? Sign me up! Vive la France!

~Even though I knew what was coming, I teared up the first time I watched Gavroche's last scene. And then I did it again tonight. And I will probably continue to be emotionally hit by this scene every time I see it. Darn those kids.

~Still no waterworks though. I guess I'm just an insensitive turd.

~I want a pretty fancy-sounding French name. Maybe I'll bestow them on my future kids.

~Russell Crowe is NOT a terrible singer. He is by no means as pleasant to listen to as the other actors (and I did cringe through the first viewing when he started singing), but he manages to pull it off, and at times his subtlety portrays itself very well in Javert's emotions. I'd still rather hear someone else sing "Stars" though. Anyone else. Well... maybe not ANYONE...

Overall, Les Mis is a great movie, and completely deserving of every award nomination (and win!) it has received thus far. And it might be worth watching in the theaters a third time... or maybe I'll just go see Cloud Atlas a second time and wait for Les Mis to go on DVD.

P.S. Cloud Atlas is another amazing movie worth watching. It's mind-blowing.

One Month Until October 19th!

I found some old notes, quotes, and tidbits I jotted down in my notebook and cell phone, and although it may be repetitive, it's kind of nice to recognize the state of mind that is October 19th. I did this in another post a few months ago, and I'm quite pleased at how I have maintained this state of mind, not just for these past few months, but for the majority of 2012. And so, also for lack of creativity coupled with a sore throat and stuffy head, I will pick up where I left off and look back at more of the simple joys that are October 19th.

When you don't have to dress in costume and collect candy to have an enjoyable Halloween night -- that's October 19th.

Eating banana fosters cheesecake while being serenaded by a fine jazz trio -- that's October 19th.

When you start rocking out to Beatles' songs during your ten minute work break -- that's October 19th.

Composing a rough three-part harmony arrangement of a Christmas song in a matter of a few hours and performing it a few weeks later -- that's October 19th.

When your dog is the instigator for a conversation between you and a cute LDS boy you've never met before -- that's October 19th.

Spending a four-day weekend with hot chocolate, Christmas movies, and many great people -- that's October 19th.

When the pronunciation of a new language starts to make sense (dziękuję Youtube!) -- that's October 19th.

Putting up Christmas lights in your room after a two-year hiatus, and listening to them every other night -- that's October 19th.

When doomsday is randomly spent with a few (or many) laughs from The Soup -- that's October 19th.

Making it through ten hour work days with loads of energy to continue playing after -- that's October 19th.

When you spend a night of karaoke with just one other friend and realize it's the best night of karaoke ever because you can sing every other song and rock out with said friend to some amazing duets -- that's October 19th.

On that note, when same friend makes you feel pretty darn special by being the only one to celebrate your birthday in December with karaoke -- that's October 19th. (January karaoke celebration coming soon... =P)

Discovering you share a birthday with Rod Serling -- that's October 19th.

When you have been gifted the awesome sweater that you asked for your birthday TWICE -- that's October 19th.

Treating yourself to birthday dinner on more than one occasion just because you actually have the time (and money) to do it -- that's October 19th.

When your friends spontaneously surprise you with a birthday cookie two nights before your birthday -- that's October 19th.

Getting in and out of the DMV in less than an hour without any hassle -- that's October 19th.

When your married friends treat you to your first Disneyland tour and a fancy dinner so that you can celebrate your birthday at the same time they are celebrating being newlyweds -- that's October 19th.

Celebrating what thus far has been the best Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthday all in the same year -- that's October 19th.

Realizing the start of the fourth season of Community is one month away -- that's October 19th!

Merry Third Day of Christmas!

On the third day of Christmas, my dather gave to me...

Three caballeros...

Two new tires...

And a cup full of broccoli cheese!

25 Days to Christmas

I do not have any of substance to actually write about tonight (then again, do I ever?), but I have also been meaning to post about a lot of different things. A lot of my thoughts are pretty insignificant, but I sometimes wonder if at some point I will write something that someone will stumble upon, perhaps by accident, that will be of some relevance to them. In the meantime, I am fairly content writing to myself, the three other people I know who read this blog, and the reader who keeps tuning in from Russia. Not sure who you are, but Здравствуйте!

I'm pretty excited because this has been a crazy month full of a lot of new and exciting things. (These thoughts are not necessarily in order of significance or chronology, I'm just writing as I spout.) Kind of an expansion on October 19th, but not quite. It'll always be October 19th... in here.

First, my friends finally got married, and I was able to celebrate as a part of the wedding party, which was incredible and full of fun memories, good times, great singing, dancing, and nail polish that is really showing wear and tear on my fingernails that I will not remove until the last possible moment.

Second, I have been indulging my ears in more Disney songs sung in Polish to assist me while I learn the language. The only little bugger is when I try to translate English into Polish, and vice versa, I end up mentally translating into Chinese. (Is this normal?) It's so exciting to find that the pronunciation is starting to make more sense. It's always the grammar that's my problem though. And these Polish pronouns are going to take a while.

Third, I tried sushi for the first time, and anyone who knows me well enough knows this is HUGE because I do not like seafood. The bad news about this is now I have something else to waste my money on, because sushi is freaking good! Yeah, total shocker.

Fourth, I put up my Christmas lights, which is great because 1. my Christmas lights are the best, 2. I missed hanging them up last year so they have been on hiatus for almost two years, and 3. my Christmas lights are the best.

Fifth, this past Thanksgiving was the best Thanksgiving EVER. Seriously. Anyone who knows I do not like fish also likely knows that Thanksgiving is not a holiday I enjoy, rather one that I dread every time it comes around. And yet, ever since I spent Thanksgiving by myself a few years ago, every Thanksgiving in the year following has trumped the previous year. I may be a fan of this holiday now. Well, maybe not quite a fan, but I can at least tolerate it now.

Finally, prayer works!!! As time goes by, I keep finding my testimony of prayer (among other things) growing. And that's as far as I will go in talking about that lest I get too personal. But it's pretty amazing. A number of prayers are being answered and I am sooo blessed in life right now.

What's next? Figuring out how to survive turning a year older. Bye-bye November, hello Birthmas countdown. Ah, life is good.