There's Children Throwing Snowballs Instead of Throwing Heads

The lights are strung up. The tree is bought, assembled, and adorned. The hats, jackets, thick sweaters, and scarves have been pulled from the closet. The speakers are pulsating with the familiar sounds of holiday tunes in their classic and variation forms. The big red bows, shiny ribbons, and rolls of gift wrap have been purchased. The greeting cards are sifted through and handpicked to the choice selection in preparation for the inevitable and possibly humiliating holiday picture. The scent of gingerbread fills the air, not to mention the grande sized Starbucks coffee cup. The pumpkin pies are baking in the oven, and cooling down on the counter in hopes of scraping off those burnt crust bits before serving. The price tags have been slashed to considerable amounts in the hundreds, a bargain considering the original added to nearly a thousand. The high temperatures have dropped down to a finger numbing average of 65 degrees.

The holidays must be here. And I love it.

Buttons and Stitches

The first time I watched Coraline was on a Valentine's Day date last year, and it creeped me out more than I expected it to. The trailer made it appear as a dark animated picture with scares targetted to those who have yet to reach their preteen years (because "tween" is about one of the dumbest words ever invented). With it being on the list of potential movies to watch on Halloween, along with other family friendly classics such as It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, Hocus Pocus, and anything from the mind of Tim Burton, I thought it maybe a dimly lit idea to watch this movie again and alleviate any unsettling jitters that arose after the first viewing. It's not as creepy as the first time, but there's still something very uncomfortable about watching it, and I think I know why. It's interesting.

Example #13 of what makes people silly: I wore my costume downtown after that party which was a great idea. Aside from the amusement that comes with some of the colorful people who have just indulged in a little too much happy juice, we found another amusement in the stares from said people who saw me (namely since I was the only one visibly in costume). Yes, people, I did see you staring at me from the corner of my eye, and yes, I know I have stitches on the sides of my mouth, and yes, I also know Halloween is coming up. That turned out to be much more entertaining than I thought it would, and it was mainly because of silly people. Next time, I'm staring back, with a scary face thrown in here and there for good measure. Wow, Halloween is fun.

I anticipate this will be a wonderful holiday season, just seeing how the days leading up to Halloween have already proved to be so. With the success that Thanksgiving turned out to be last year, I am looking forward to it again this year, because no matter how I feel, I will have my practically perfect default plan. And with the golden birthday coming up, perhaps a little bit more thought will be taken in actually celebrating with people, even if it does mean waiting for about a month again to do something. I'm also making other plans which are very exciting, fingers crossed, knock on wood, they will turn out the way they should (if not better, which I'm totally gunning for)!

We especially have to watch this movie on Halloween night because of my costume. I guess it doesn't hurt that it's a very fitting Halloween movie either:

Friends in Disney Places

Change is good, but sometimes it's strange. Little things make a world of difference, such as making and eating breakfast in the morning, or gaining an extra hour or two of sleep and then tidying up the bed, or primping up and then taking some windex to the mirrors. I haven't changed drastically (if at all) as far as my personality goes, but there is a definite shift, as briefly mentioned in my previous entry, of the homemaker in training tendencies that are more prevalent. I don't know why it's happening, but at least it looks clean and tastes yummy.

This life has hit a familiar point of the surreal, as if I am starring in my own personal episode of The Twilight Zone, where I wonder to myself, "Is this truly the life I am living?" I have those times where things come to mind that should be forgotten, but they just won't go away, about what I had that was taken away from me by the deception of certain people, moments that I look back on and think, "Did that really happen? Was I a part of this? Wasn't it meant to be more? Who were these people who lied when they said we would always be together, only to cut it short for one meaningless reason or another?" And there are similar yet contrasting times when I think about the next day and the day after, the next week, month or two, trying to snap into the reality that, yes, I do work at this amazing job, I do live in this wonderful place, I can attend these heavenly temples, I am surrounded by these beautiful people, I can go to this happy theme park whenever I need or want.

I went with another one of my friends for the first time, and as many of my Disneyland excursions go, we had a blast. What also made this time awesome was the initiative taken along the way. One of the things I have always wanted to do at Disneyland is meet someone new and spend some time with them at the park. A moment such as this almost came to pass at that moment also mentioned in another post of mine a few months ago with the fellow I met in the single rider line for Indiana Jones, but not so since I had already made plans that evening which had no relation to Disney whatsoever. It must have only been a matter of time before this should happen, because as my friend and I finished our ride on Space Mountain, we found the two gentlemen who had stood directly behind us in line with a super fast pass in tow, as the ride had broken down immediately after we departed. We asked to tag along, as the pass allowed up to six persons to board, and they were gracious enough to share with us. This one ride turned into several more and a good few hours together as a party of four (the magic Disneyland number) before we parted ways for dinner and the wonderful World of Color.

(On a side note: although I still don't understand the direction it's meant to take, I love World of Color, and could see it over and over again. We were teary eyed by the end of the show, but maybe that was just the mist from the fountains. We were standing in the "wet zone", after all.)

This serves to further my love of what is rightfully dubbed "The Happiest Place On Earth". A person would have to work very hard (or just not love Disney in the slightest) to even avoid cracking a smile for one moment while surrounded in the ambience of the Disneyland magic. And it does seem that people are much more friendly here than in most other places. Perhaps it is the kid in all of our hearts opening up their eyes to see the good in everyone around us. Or maybe we can just have more fun when in a place where fun prevails, and when fun people find more fun people, the level of fun rises well beyond the mark. (That was a lot of "fun"s in one sentence, and now the word "fun" is starting to look funny.)

It may be a bad habit to dive into the philosophy of "Work Hard, Play Hard", but it's been the best, and everything feels much more worthwhile. I'm having a great time, I'm learning a lot, I am making more than I imagined I would, and I'm keeping my mind from turning into jelly. My body might crash after doing this for an extended period of time, but let's just refer to it as building up my immunity and strength for now. Not to mention, my legs are going to be in great shape from all of the walking I am doing.

Considering I have been running around in this cold-recovering body, and spent much more time out of the house than in this past week (especially the weekend), I am reserving this holiday for relaxation. I have already slept in until 9:00 am, and I have a few errands to run, studying to do, and food to eat, followed by much needed exercise. Before I continue, though, I will watch a Donald Duck cartoon. Happy laboring!

A Taste of the Tropics

In the midst of my cravings, I found that summer is the season for pitaya, dragonfruit. Never before had I found dragonfruit available in the surplus of grocery stores surrounding me, but the hopes of discovering them locally rarely lingered. I don't believe the USofA claims this fruit as native to this land, but it's at least found in Central and South America, and several Asian countries near the equator. (I'm assuming dragonfruit loves living in the tropical weather?) Why the inquiry of such an obscure piece of produce? It may just be as such, its obscurity makes it intriguing, its appearance inside and out, and that of an all too familiar flavor found in vitamin water prompts the question of what the fruit itself must taste like. Plus, it's called "dragonfruit", how can any fruit with a name as such be passed over?

Thank goodness for Asian markets!!! And what a relief to arrive midday when less people are out shopping where I can find myself not in fear for my life driving through the parking lot. I also found several brands of coconut milk, which prompted the Asian in me to purchase the cheapest ones on the shelf (which also happened to be on sale). And how could I resist a case (or two) of mochi? As I made my way through the market, sure enough, on a tucked away corner of the produce shelves neatly arranged were dozens of dragonfruit, a moment where the heavens seemed to open and shine their light upon them and sing in angelic chords. I only bought one, but if so pleased, I will definitely have to buy more.

On the note of coconut milk, another dive into a new cooking experience. There is something to be said about the homemaker-in-training tendencies I have displayed as of recent these last few months, namely learning to make new meals and snack foods, and especially the desserts which I have shared with those I reside with. Whether or not I become a homemaker is not of the subject, but there's something to be said about knowing to make a variety of dishes, especially for someone as myself whose tastes vary based on mood or the time of day or the newest craving of interest. I recall a dessert from when I was younger, one of the only foods I truly enjoyed eating that was made in my household, which sadly was soon eliminated once the totalitarian health craze moved in. I look back and I think about now and what will be different, that with my family of the future (however many it may consist of) there will be something to be said of making meals that have the right balance of taste and nutrition, and that every now and then it doesn't hurt to include something sweet. One of these new sweet treats I have learned to make, courtesy of a fellow blogger and friend, is haupia, a Hawaiian recipe basically summed up as coconut pudding. Coconut milk tastes quite bland to me in general, but as a key ingredient in haupia, I am surprised at how great the mixture tastes. And as the night approaches, I may indulge in a small portion with perhaps a few bits of dragonfruit on the side.

The next step is to figure out what to do with the coconut milk I have left over. It'll require a bit of exploration, but if nothing else, this could add to one heck of a tropical smoothie.

Perfect Situation

Yesterday, I had a mindset (and a post in the making) all ready and rearing to blog which temporarily allowed itself to be distracted, and perhaps for good reason. In darker times, I tend to think too much. Recently, I have been thinking a lot, but not because these are darker times. If anything, I can argue I am living in the complete antithesis of such, for I am rather fortunate for the goings on of these last good number of days, and I have a few wonderful people, places, and things to thank for this.

In a summer such as this, how can one not formulate a smile on their face just by taking a glance outside and seeing the beauty that is found in the sand and surf and fresh air? How can this atmosphere not be taken advantage of? And the relief that comes with rain or a misty day. How much more fortunate is it to live less than ten minutes away from a temple and be endowed to perform the ordinances therein? I have a growing love for the temple, and I only imagine this love will continue to grow.

This is a beautiful place, and as I expand my horizons I realize how much more beautiful it is here (this is in no way intended to be an homage to American Beauty either). It's been limited with the lack of time I had, and now that time is occupied in other forms, it opens the way for more opportunities allowing open and quality time.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine visiting from out of state. It made me realize the different ways people think, and how unfortunate it is to know that some people can be destroyed by the stigmas imposed by a certain culture. It also brings to mind decisions people have made to hurt me intentionally, and why these people were brought into my life if only to bring me pain. And then it becomes clearer that I cannot blame myself, for people have their agency, and if they use it improperly, that is in no way my fault, no matter how awful or responsible I may feel or how many times I had the finger pointed at me.

One starry night, and a busy mind full of thoughts with music pumping throughout the evening. What prompted this gentleman to take initiative into approaching me? He gave so much more care and time that I have only seen a handful of people willing to give after an initial meet and greet with someone who has been put through the ringer of poor decision making brought by others. What would happen if more people could show that kind of care? It takes a special person to touch someone's life for the better. A date earlier this week also made a surprising world of difference, and if more FHEs could fall through as such, I may get used to this. I should really keep in mind with my special fellow that dates do not have to end with the DTR.

Case in point in a matter of touching lives for the better: The Changing of the Guard. I can't think of a moment I haven't felt that tender spot swell inside me as I have every time I watch this episode.



This made more sense in my mind, but I appreciate these moments I can relax and take in more of these ponderings as I spew them out in a somewhat disheveled form based on my energy level. And I will conclude there as I leave singing oooooooh oh, ooohhhhh oh, oh ooohhh oohh.

These Are My Confessions, And It's Now Or Never

There are a lot of occurances in this past week that have sparked thoughts and curiosities of my persona and my observations of others. One is my first visit to the El Capitan theater, taking me into a trip through time and sparking imagery of old Hollywood and what fame and stardom must have been worth in the past compared to now. Connected with this cinematic visit is my viewing of Prince of Persia in this very theater, given the theme of the film, with the subtitle "The Sands of Time", is of time travel, and whether or not I could (or would) change the past if I knew what is to become of the future. Then there's the time I began chatting it up with a friendly fellow while we were both in line for the Indiana Jones ride, who I would have spent more time acquainting myself with had I not already planned on leaving for dinner soon after, adding to the ways I have seen Disneyland bring people together, be they family, friends, significant others, acquaintances, and in this case, merely strangers. There is also the most recent news that I have been chosen to portray the role of new employee in a job at a location I felt could be nothing short of perfect for me, selected for this one open position out of hundreds of applicants, giving my best in the group interview, and the likeness of the excitement felt when I received the phone call telling me I got the part compared to that of finding I have received one of my dream roles. Maybe these are all worth writing about in the very near future, or maybe they will just disappear after more blogging takes place, clearing away this entry and others from the front page, only to be found after a click or two back in time into previous entries.

It would not be so out of character, however, for me to quickly mention my thoughts on this series. Many of my friends have strongly recommended I watch Glee. For someone who has been performing in choirs since I was eight, school and community shows since I was twelve, and a deep love of performing that was not utilized as well as it could have been given the unfortunate circumstances that made up my childhood and teenage years, it has thrown some people for a loop that an entire first season has gone by and I had not watched a single episode of this show. I hesitated at first, but a friend of mine who happens to own every episode of Glee suggested we make this happen, and with a few days to spend with her in this nothing-to-do town I currently call home (though I love it here nonetheless!), I caved. We made a marathon out of it and watched the entire first season in the course of a few days. And simply put, it was good.

I wish I could think more of it, and in a way, I'm disappointed I do not, but I am not so won over to call myself a gleek (yet?). Admittedly, I have searched and viewed some of the clips on Youtube, and I do have a few covers in my MP3 player, but the parts of the show I dislike weigh it down, namely the storyline, the inconsistencies, and the extreme amount of unnecessary songs added into the second half of the season. It's funny to think, but now I kind of understand why people who are not a fan of musicals, because of the random moments where people break out into song, are annoyed. And this is coming from someone like me, a lover of good musicals and the spontaneity they have of breaking into song and dance at moments that may or may not be fitting. Also, there are times when the covers just didn't work for me. Some artists shouldn't be transposed, and others just aren't worth covering in attempts to make sound better (i.e. Lady Gaga). I suppose most of my problems with the show came from the second half of the season. Actually, I'm sure that's where it comes from, because although the first half was faulty, it surely felt more entertaining than the second, with a better balance of story and song and smoother transitions in plot and character development.

Of course, I'm glad I watched it. And although problematic, it isn't a bad show. It idealizes what I wish I could have experienced in high school and is reminiscent of a few memories that I have of those years (given we didn't have glee club, but having done choir and musicals, there are the similarities). I may even recommend it to people, or at least those lovers of musicals. It's enough to make me want to watch more in hopes that perhaps the show will vastly improve in the second season. Or at the least, I can hopefully look forward to a few more better covers sung by the members of Glee, and mash-ups. I will say, the mash-ups are great. So, only time will tell, and that's okay, for I am in no hurry for September to roll around.

And to end on the note of Glee, this mash-up has been in my head for a while, which I also added to my music:

Free Dinners: Gifts to a Starving Artist

I wish I could feed the missionaries. Once I am able to feed myself, I intend on helping to feed them too.

Last night, my friend took me to The Cheesecake Factory. After I obtained the high score in our Toy Story Midway Mania vehicles, only further digging me into the pit of Disney game-themed ride geekiness, our time was of the essence to make room for a comfortable dinner and a few more hours at the happiest place on earth. 90 minutes of comfort food, endless conversation, an adorably colorful waiter, and perfect weather for outdoor seating helped to make the evening as enjoyable as it was. The cherry on top could have very well been the fireworks that started as we were ready to make our cheesecake selection, if only they proved to be visually present as well as audible. It was not so much the fact that my friend was willing to dish out earned money to cover our meals and service at a somewhat pricey restaurant (could I have very well settled with the likes of a Del Taco? Absolutely!), but more of the fact that he wanted to make sure I was well fed and could enjoy dinner with him. Does it make me feel like a mooch? Guilty? Ashamed? Yes, and I had to convince myself not to feel these thoughts when he brought this offer to the table. Truly, as a starving artist, it is one of the greater gifts I could receive at this moment, and to be even more privileged to have friends like him, who are so considerate and thoughtful. And to add to those adjectives "fun to be around", because after finishing our meal, we were back at the park making the most of a few hours before closing, and in many ways, there is nothing more exhilarating than several screams and lots of water and a sharp drop into a briar patch at 11:30 at night.

I do not say this as a form of pity given my current state of being. If nothing else, this is a bigger lesson I am experiencing in this game of life, one that I will grow from and take to be more self sufficient, that I can take care of myself. And in learning to do so, to take this perspective into the near future, I will be able to help support my husband in our new life together, as well as any children that may be brought into our lives. Meanwhile, I am also continuously growing in gratitude for the people around me and all else that I do have, because as low as my life has felt at times, I have a lot to be thankful for, and so much more that will be brought my way in these years to come.

This prompts me to an additional gift in the form of a graduation dinner where I will play the date of an unlikely fellow this Friday night which, strangely, I am looking forward to.