Cool Cool Cool

First, I am on the edge of my seat after the most recent episode of Once Upon a Time! This hasn't happened in a while. Not sure how I'll be able to wait six more days for the next episode.

Second, I'm still trying to figure out my way around this new Blogger layout.

Third, I came to another realization recently. And it's interesting. I'll elaborate in a moment.

Fourth, I had the incredible honor of attending a fireside featuring Sister Janice Kapp Perry. I almost did not go for a handful of dumb, insignificant reasons, but I'm so glad I went, and I may have had regrets if I missed it. Hands down one of the best firesides I have been to. This also came as another spiritual slap-in-the-face. And that's all I'm going to say about that for now. But it was a joyous evening. And I should probably learn some primary songs.

Okay, back to the third. I was feeling a little down last week, so I shut myself off from most forms of contact to anyone (there are maybe two people I can name off that know a number of the details, so I suppose I contradicted myself just now) and started watching Disney movies, namely Alice in Wonderland, Sleeping Beauty, the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, The Black Cauldron, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and Chicken Little. This was partly to check off films from my 101 list, but also because it was a great distraction. By delving into movies, I was able to shut myself from the outside world. It was almost as if life could just keep going on, without me actively involved in it, and that was okay and no one was the wiser. I could just make believe everything wasn't real, and then come back and discover that I have about two seasons worth of episodes to catch up on in everyone else's lives.

In the meantime, I watched the series of my life and find that it is probably the least viewed and lowest rated show on television. Mostly, I became fearful, this a result of various circumstances directly affecting those I care about, and not affecting them in bad ways either. I guess in the midst of their doings, I started to look into my life and wondered about myself, if I'm even going to have a place anywhere, in anyone's life, if I'm going to do anything worthwhile. And then I tried to ignore these feelings because all they did was bring me down, and that's no fun. So, I would go to work, sing some songs, make funny faces at cute babies, and come home and ponder about my day, if that was all real or if I was just making a cameo appearance in someone else's life (which is also very likely). Watching movies helped, especially Disney, and yet....

So I prayed. A lot. I prayed to understand the extent of why I was feeling so down, and especially for the strength to get through and past it all. No matter how much I avoid talking with others about my insignificant problems, it's nice to have someone to go to who is not on a time frame and always willing to listen.

And then Thursday came along, and with it the blessing of a new episode of Community. While watching, I was vastly intrigued (moreso than my two friends watching beside me, to be sure). I watched this same episode the next day after work, and I knew this episode was exactly what I needed to open my eyes to what I was feeling. And I felt so much better about myself afterwards. And I am better now. Great episode.

In a few days, I will probably look back on this entry and LOL out loud. It's kind of refreshing for me to learn something new about myself every now and then though. Now, "...I'm back to being a weirdo, back to watching from the outside... for now."

And going back to the second, this new Blogger layout will really take some getting used to.

I Owe U(tah) An Apology

The third time must be the charm because this past excursion to Utah was a stew of happiness and activity with several dashes of fun mixed together. I was pleasantly surprised a number of times throughout this trip. In an attempt to see the better in a state that is in many ways too different this one I call home, I have made a brief list of some of the good things that made my trip easygoing, amusing, and memorable:

1. The Grid: I was very much reliant on others for transportation. When I was not hitching a ride, I walked everywhere else. I did not bring my GPS, my phone is reliable but definitely not "smart" so it could not help me, and I am not always the best with directions. The grid system saved me from taking a wrong turn and otherwise finding myself stranded in an abandoned suburbian corner of the less-than-right side of town. I can't knock the grid anymore for seeming confusing at first because without it I would not have known where to go.

2. Mountains: Beautiful. There is something about a change of scene, waking up to mountains outside of your window. When all you've grown up seeing your whole life through your car and apartment windows are houses, anthills, saltwater, smog, and too many cars, it's so refreshing to see something new. The allergies were a pain, but the air was nice.

3. Weather: I may be wrong, but it seems like Utah may have experienced some kind of weather PMS while I was there. But from what I have heard, that is the norm. And sure enough, I had the chance to experience sun as well as a bit of wind, rain, and snow. (SNOW!) And yes, I spent most of my time in the same town. I guess that doesn't come to a surprise to native Utahns though.

4. Toilet paper: As mentioned, allergies made an unexpected sneak attack on my body. (I probably should have checked up on that before making the trip there.) As a result, I needed kleenex, and a lot of it. Apparently college students in Utah don't use kleenex. Instead, they all use toilet paper. This was more of an amusement than anything else. And equally amusing was a spontaneous FHE activity involving rolls of toilet paper, because nothing else was planned after the lesson. Oh, the fun that has to be made when you live in a college town in Utah.

5. Cool people: I enjoyed a great amount of quality time with lots of former Socal friends, reunited with a couple of old friends from high school, made new friends stateside and international, went on fun dates with some super awesome guys, and even in those moments I was on my own there was a friendly face around the corner if I ever needed one to help me out.

6. 101 goals: I completed a few more. =)

7. General Conference: WOW! CHORUS OF ANGELS! What an unforgettable experience! Watching is always a joy, but being there live definitely has a unique spiritual power, just to be in the presence of the prophet and his counselors and apostles. First time ever watching in person and I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to do so. Which also sidetracks back to #5 in a few ways. One of the reasons I had avoided the idea of watching GC live is because past experiences at other religious conferences has shown contention that erupts from a crowd of people who make their ugly not-so-Christian colors shown in impatience, anger, hostility, and bitterness at waiting in lines, pushing and shoving to scramble to seats, or somehow finding an excuse to bicker with the people in front of you for not knowing where they are supposed to go or what to do. Such was not the case at GC, in fact this proved to be the complete antithesis. Also, I loved hearing Motab live again. If I never get a chance to see GC live again, I hope to at least hear them perform in person one more time.

I guess there is a lot more I could add, but considering the bother of procrastination, not to mention that I have been back home from vacation for over a week, memories of this trip day-by-day are starting to fade, and I'm overdue for another blog post since I missed the entire month of March (not sure how that happened since there were several days last month I felt inclined to write), this will suffice me. Next time, I propose a trip to a museum, a hike (I'll be smart and bring walking shoes next time), or possibly snowboarding?

So, maybe Utah is not that bad, and maybe I will go back and visit again someday.