I believe everything happens for a reason. It's funny to see how life experiences can make or break a person, and how some people are destroyed by certain experiences that others are unaffected by. As time continues to pass in its transcendental form, the thoughts and feelings I have been meaning to release in one way or another continue to accumulate. It's almost becoming too much to handle, but when the sources that one needs to rely on to release these thoughts and feelings are unavailable or unwilling to be of assistance, there is not much left for one to do but internalize these thoughts. I plan on releasing some, if not all, of these thoughts and feelings one day. Today is not that day.
I am an empathetic. Or am I just pathetic? I realized last night that I don't like the term "hopeless romantic". It gives off a negative vibe, as if to say someone is "romantic, but hopeless". Who would want to be labeled as such? I suppose such a label has unintentionally applied to me for most if not all of my entire life, and maybe it's true. However, there should be something to be said about a person who tries to persevere regardless of their hopeless state. From now on, I would rather be labeled a "hopeful romantic", because one day, someone will come along, and I won't be afraid to give everything for him, and he won't hurt me because once he's gained my trust he'll see I have so much to offer him that isn't worth giving up on because of a few mistakes, and I will no longer be trapped in the cycle of hopelessness. And I would only hope that because I have been capable of such love before, that I will not be too scared to fall into such a trap again lest I be hurt as badly as I have by a number of fellows in the past. I truly want to believe that love offers second chances, and maybe it'll be worth it the next time around. And those are probably the most pathetic statements drenched in sappiness that I have ever written in the history of this blog's existance. I think I just made myself nauseous.
I am sincere with a strong twist of sarcasm. Before I fell asleep this morning, I had another revelation that smacked me in the face amidst the potpourri of disturbing thoughts that continues to plague my mind as it has since I arrived in southern California (must be something in the air or something). I know why so many people are getting married lately: because our economy is a mess! At a time like this, who will deny the tax benefits and the financial support of another? And yes, one can argue that weddings are expensive, but at a time like this, who is really investing in a ginormous, over-the-top wedding (I'm still seriously considering Vegas) with a dangerously priced honeymoon? And if so, who's to say they intend on living in a five bedroom mansion immediately after the festivities are over? Food for thought.
I am excited for the future. When life brings me down (and life has definitely been beating the daylights out of me recently), it's nice to remember that right now I have rock and roll on my side. And it's also nice to watch Neal Caffrey cock a gun.
