The Big Five-O

I started to give more thought to my 50th birthday party. I won't be getting married until I'm well older than 50, if ever at all. By this time, the rest of my friends will have been married for quite a while and settled down with their own families, possibly even with grandchildren for all I know. Meanwhile, I'll be a single woman, working a job I love, possibly with a few adopted children from China (at least people will believe THEY are really Chinese especially with the last name "Chan"), with a nice big house in Orange County, plenty of money saved up, and no wedding to reminisce over when I'm relaxing on my couch next to my dachshund Penny Lane as I wait for my Chinese babies to finish their kindergarten class.

My 50th birthday will be the wedding reception I never had.

Because it is less than likely that people will be able to attend my 50th birthday celebration ON my actual birthday (unless they're Jewish, I suppose), I will have my wedding reception on my half birthday, making it technically my 50.5th birthday, which is more convenient I suppose because there's nothing like a summer day in southern California. I'll have classic wedding invitations sent out with just my name in them, of course, and rather than the invitation to a wedding, it will be to my 50th birthday. I'll also hire a photographer to take professional-looking photos of me that I can include in my invitation, or maybe I'll find an attractive guy off the street who will pose with me for the day. I'll have a wedding dress all picked out (my Chinese daughter will thank me when she gets married and I can pass my dress to her), something that will make me feel beautiful, photogenic, and still able to dance the night away in.

No wedding colors for me, because after all I'm not getting married and therefore won't have an actual wedding ceremony. There will be lots of lilies though, in various colors, but mostly white and orange (this also includes water lilies, but I have yet to figure out where to put them). Roses would be nice too, but I'm wondering how they would look alongside the lilies. And I may or may have a pre-reception performance, consisting of the talents of my friends and family, which I'll conclude with my vows, or rather, my sentiments. After all, I'll be 50, I'll have quite a bit to say. Then, we'll move on to the actual reception.

I have yet to pick a location. Of course, I'm a Disney nut, so having my wedding reception somewhere at the Disneyland Resort was a thought. The additional bonus is considering most of my guests will be families, they could go to the Disney parks for leisure as well. The Queen Mary also came to mind. There's a number of rooms to choose from onboard the ship that have been used specifically for wedding receptions. For me it's also about the size of the dance floor. Even as a 50 year old woman, I'll expect there to be dancing. And I will have a first dance, with whom will be decided, though the father-daughter dance is debatable because that will depend on my dad's physical state, providing he's still alive. I'll also have a dance with my little Chinese son, among other specially named dances, and group dances too. I will also toss my bouquet and garter (which I will take off on my own, thank you very much!) to the single females and males, respectively. And the cake will be themed based on the location of the reception. If I choose the Disney Resort, I will also buy myself the bridal Mickey ears, because... well, why not?

When I'm 50, a lot of my appliances will have worn out by this time too, especially after adopting children and a puppy, so what better time to accept gifts than at a wedding reception? I mean, I'm talking about a free toaster, blender, sets of utensils! Maybe a walker for when I throw my back out when I'm 55? All that dancing might take a toll on me sooner or later.

Well, I'm 22 years old. This gives me less than 28 years to plan my 50th birthday. I still have a lot of details to work out. The real slap-in-the-face will be if I wind up getting married at age 51. If that happens, I'll be broke and my fiancee had better pay for all the wedding fees. On the bright side, at least I won't have to worry about finding a wedding dress!

12-Hour Epiphany

It's funny, the things a long drive across California can do for a person, all that time sitting in the car listening to the same fifty songs, looking out the window, pondering. Well, as I was in the car listening to my music this past weekend, making the long drive back to the Bay Area, I received quite the epiphany:

I find spiky hair incredibly attractive.

Apparently this isn't big, extravagant news to anyone but myself. When I shared this newfound information with my dather, his response was, "No kidding." I know he used to joke with me all the time about how I only like guys with spiky hair, but I just thought he was saying that stuff to annoy me cause, well, that's what dads do. Everything he was saying has some truth to it though! And it hit me like a ton of bricks last weekend! (Or at least, two or three bricks. A ton might have knocked me unconscious and left me unable to recall such an epiphany.)

As feeble as I sound, this really is mind-blowing to me. This is a bigger deal than when I came to the self-realization that Aaron Carter and Jesse McCartney are the same person. (And I still stand firm to that truth.)

Look at Seth Green, for instance. In every other movie he's in, he spikes his hair. In Without a Paddle, for one, he didn't. Now, he still looked good, but there's something about every other movie he's in when he does spike his hair that makes him more than just a funny actor. With that little bit of extra gel keeping his hair up, he becomes a grade A hottie. The early seasons of Buffy, Can't Hardly Wait, Idle Hands, The Austin Powers trilogy, it all becomes clear just by watching.

The same thing goes with the McFly guys. Not that the long emo-like hair makes them look hideous, because it doesn't really. Still, a guy with smoother, nicer hair than mine does not only bring out the little green monster inside me, it's also kind of questionable behavior to me on his part. However, take these four talented, cute musicians, add in a number of hair products, and sure enough. A vast visual improvement. (Dougie, of course, seems to pull off any style he does his hair in nicely. Danny, who has naturally curly hair is better off actually leaving it curly, because though spiky hair is hot, curly hair is too. I digress, though.)

Then, one of the best examples I found came about through an episode of the great Law and Order: SVU. One of the guest stars in the fourth season was particularly easy on the eyes, despite the plotline of that particular episode portraying him as a guy in his late teens who happened to be having a sexual relationship with his stepmother, but such is SVU. He wasn't a bad actor by any means either, which then posed the question: Why haven't I seen this pleasantly defined face elsewhere? So my search took me to IMDB, and sure enough I had seen that face before.

Aaron Samuels, played by Jonathan Fuller. His character was Lindsay Lohan's character's crush in Mean Girls. I had seen Mean Girls before watching that episode of SVU, but I didn't find this "heartthrob" of the movie any more than lukewarm. (If anything, the math guy was better looking in my eyes, but that's not relevant to this post.) But, Jonathan Fuller was the same actor I saw in that Law and Order: SVU episode, playing that slightly underage teen who was sleeping with his stepmom. So why didn't I find him all that attractive in Mean Girls? It struck me: it was his hair! Note his hair when he was playing Aaron Samuels. Not ugly, but just not terribly attractive in my eyes. He's just another stereotypical pretty boy. When he spikes his hair, though, that's another story. Can we say revelation! He looks so much better! All this because a guy models his head after a porcupine than that of a shih-tzu. (Pardon my French.)

Point taken, in the majority of cases, spiky hair on a guy is very attractive. Need I say more?

I shall conclude this epiphany by informing everyone that Mean Girls will be on ABC Family this Saturday night. I, however, will not be watching because Jonathan Bennett looks much hotter with spiky hair than that mess which was done to it in Mean Girls. However, I will watch my DVD of Without a Paddle because even though Seth Green loses the spikes, he's still funny and cute in that movie. (I actually won't be watching Mean Girls because I might be out of town this weekend, but I'm just diving into the already shallow pool I've created.)

I am also aware this epiphany doesn't have much relevance to today's holiday. I went out to dinner and baked a heart shaped cake with a lot of help from Margie. Happy Valentine's Day.

Here We Go...

This should be interesting. Here's to a new blog. Salut.